Funny!!

[Janne Josefsson]

Two ladies talking in heaven:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement.

Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

[Janne Josefsson]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."

[lubben]

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old
lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie
said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This
is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these
wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and though about it for a while and said, "I've always
wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.
Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to
visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics
of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No, think of another
wish!"

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives
always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that
I could understand women... know how they feel inside and know why
they're crying, know what they really want when they say nothing... know
how to make them truly happy..."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

[Andreas Keller]

Hahaha!!!

[Alex]

Hahahaha...lubben... true...

[stanchung]

LOL, I thought the genie going to turn him into woman.